original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

101,052 notes

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

chekov-in-a-dress:

I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.

I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.

269,832 notes

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

161,628 notes

hazel-grace-lancaster:

so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING ME FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’” 

190,752 notes